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Ever wonder why your toddler won’t sleep and keeps waking up in the middle of the night, leaving you groggy, short-tempered, and dreaming of uninterrupted rest? You’re not alone! Night wakings are a challenge for so many families, but here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to be this way.
Imagine the peace of putting your child to bed, knowing they’ll sleep soundly until morning. It’s not just a dream—it’s entirely possible. Let’s review the 5 foundational steps to help you and your little one achieve restful nights.
>>Watch this blog on my Awesome Little Sleepers YouTube channel! 👇
A better understanding of waking up in the middle of the night
Frankly, overnight wake-ups are the worst. But understanding the root cause of these wake-ups is key to addressing them and creating a plan that works for both you and your child. We’re going to dive into some actionable steps to help you tackle these wake-ups and get everyone in your household sleeping peacefully again.
Why do overnight wake-ups happen in the first place? Night wakings often stem from a few key issues:
Difficulty self-soothing: Your child doesn’t know how to fall back asleep without some help. This happens when kids haven’t been expected to self-soothe, so they just don’t have any practice.
Inconsistent routines: If their bedtime routine lacks structure, so the time they fall asleep varies from day to day, it can confuse your child’s sleep signals. Kids who chronically fall asleep too late often wake up overnight.
Reliance on “sleep crutches”: External sleep aids or “sleep crutches” can make your child dependent on you to fall back asleep. When they were babies, common sleep crutches were feeding, nursing, rocking, or pacifiers. When kids get older, the most common sleep crutch is having a parent lay in their bed or sit in the room while they fall asleep.
Developmental changes: Growth spurts and milestones can also temporarily disrupt sleep. These can cause blips in sleep patterns that disappear quickly on their own – as long as no new sleep habits are formed.
There IS a silver lining here — these issues are entirely solvable. Even if you’re sure your toddler won’t sleep through the night until they’re 30, with the right approach, you can help your child learn to stay asleep independently, bringing peace back to your nights.
I know that right now, you’re exhausted. Quick fixes are tempting! But real change comes from addressing the root causes of your child’s sleep struggles. That’s why you really need a step-by-step, holistic approach. Tackling this systematically ensures the results stick, so you’re not revisiting the same problem (once again) a month or two down the road.
Steps to take when your toddler won’t sleep through the night
Here are the 5 steps that will help to transform your nights and stop the wake-ups for good:
Establish a Consistent Bedtime Routine
Consistency signals to your child’s brain that it’s time to wind down. A predictable routine creates a sense of security and understanding that it’s time to move towards sleep.
A consistent bedtime routine also helps increase melatonin production - the hormone that helps us fall asleep. In fact, my kids would yawn when I would sing their bedtime song - “You Are My Sunshine”. Just the act of doing the predictable routine made them sleepy.
This doesn’t happen on night one. Consistency needs time. You need to set the routine and stick to it pretty rigidly - no matter who is putting them to bed - night after night in order to start seeing the positive effects.
Identify and Address Sleep Crutches
It’s time to be honest. Sometimes self-realization is the hardest part! Have you become your child’s sleep crutch? Remember, as kids grow into the toddler and preschool years, the biggest sleep crutch is A LOT of parental assistance at bedtime. This can be laying with them, sitting in the room, rubbing their back, making a bed on their floor… If this is happening, it’s time to help them learn to self-soothe and fall asleep by themselves. Independent sleep at bedtime leads to nights with no wake-ups.
Optimize the Sleep Environment
A calm, dark, quiet room is crucial for quality sleep. Add blackout curtains to block and sun or street lights. Add a white noise machine to block out household noises and floor creaks. These things can make a world of difference.
Pro tip: Make sure all the conditions in the room when your child falls asleep stay the same all night. You don’t want any night lights turning off or doors getting closed. Those small changes to the environment can cause wake-ups.
Set and Maintain Sleep Boundaries
Children thrive on clear expectations. We don’t do our kids any favors by giving them too much control, like giving in after saying no and having loosey goosey boundaries. Establishing loving but firm boundaries around bedtime and night wake-ups are the key to establishing and maintaining good sleep habits.
Bedtime boundaries include things like how long the bedtime routine will last, what time lights out is, and what happens if they wake up overnight – which should involve them going back to their room every single time.
Be Patient
Change takes time, and setting new boundaries can be tough. But this work is important and you can do hard things. Especially when the health of your kids and family are at stake. Consistency is the magic ingredient that helps your child—and you—develop healthy sleep habits for the long term.
Toddler sleep pitfalls to avoid as you implement these steps
Inconsistency: Sending mixed signals can confuse your child and slow their progress. When you say you’ll do something but don’t follow through, it undermines boundaries and consistency big time! Take time to prepare in advance for how you’ll handle any pushback, so you can stay calm and confident in your approach.
Giving in to requests: It’s tempting to cave when you’re exhausted, but this reinforces the habits you’re trying to change. You’re always teaching your kids, so if you give in, they can easily learn that begging, whining, and tantruming gets them what they want. Be careful not to teach them that!
Expecting instant results: You are dealing with a SMART person. They may be small, but look at the power they’ve had over your family at night. Don’t underestimate them! Progress may be gradual, so focus on small wins and celebrate them.
The final results: no more waking up in the middle of the night
Now, picture this: you tuck your child into bed, give them a goodnight hug, and walk out confidently knowing that they’ll sleep through the night. You finally have your evenings back to relax, connect with your partner, or just enjoy some quiet time. And the best part? You wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day with a well-rested, happy child by your side.
If you’re ready to end night wakings for good, check out my big kid sleep course, Sleep Tight Without a Fight. My course is here to guide you every step of the way. With proven strategies and personalized support, you’ll have everything you need to create lasting change. Visit AwesomeLittleSleepers.com/sleeptight
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