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Tired of sharing your bed with a toddler who sleeps like an octopus? Or maybe you’ve found yourself crammed into a tiny toddler bed, feeling like a character straight out of a Dr. Seuss book. If that sounds familiar, it’s time to explore a stress-free way to help your toddler sleep independently. Transitioning your child to their own bed is one of the best decisions you can make for your family—and for your sanity!
Let’s address something no one likes to admit: feeling completely burnt out because your toddler just cannot sleep without you. The co-sleeping struggle is real, especially during the toddler and preschool years. Many parents assume it’s just part of childhood and can’t be fixed, but that’s simply not true.
Maybe you’ve tried to make a change but found yourself held back by guilt or fear of damaging your bond. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and let me assure you—you are not failing. Transitioning to independent sleep is possible, and it doesn’t mean losing the attachment you’ve worked so hard to build.
We’ll walk through the signs that it’s time for a change: constant night wakings, feeling like you have no time for yourself or your partner, or recognizing that your child is developmentally ready but still struggles to sleep solo. By the end of this guide, you’ll have actionable steps to help your toddler transition to independent sleep as smoothly—and tear-free—as possible.
>>Watch this blog on my Awesome Little Sleepers YouTube channel! 👇
The crux of the cosleeping issue
Co-sleeping can feel comforting in the moment, but let’s be real: it’s exhausting. The toll it takes on your evenings, your relationship, and your overall energy can leave you running on empty—especially when co-sleeping starts as early as bedtime, around 7 or 8 p.m. Sure, your child needs to be asleep at that time, but it means sacrificing hours of your evening.
If you’re stuck in a co-sleeping routine and want to make a change, it’s often rooted in a mix of your child’s natural need for comfort and security and the absence of consistent sleep boundaries. Maybe your child cries at bedtime when you try to leave, and out of love (and desperation), you lay down with them. It’s a familiar scenario—it feels natural, maternal, and, let’s face it, it’s sometimes the easiest way to get through the night. And that’s okay.
Here’s the truth: this co-sleeping habit can be gently reshaped. Transitioning out of co-sleeping isn’t about rejection; it’s about fostering a secure foundation for your child to develop independence—a skill that will benefit them not just now, but throughout their childhood and beyond.
Step-by-step strategies to stop co-sleeping with your toddler
The key to ending co-sleeping successfully is consistency paired with compassion. Think of this process as a puzzle—each piece is important. Here’s a snapshot of what this can look like:
A Supportive Bedtime Routine: Start with a predictable wind-down routine your child can count on. It sets the stage for sleep by creating a comforting rhythm. Make sure it includes things the child enjoys - not just boring must-haves like brushing teeth. This should be a loving, cozy time of day.
Clear Expectations: Help your child understand what’s expected of them in simple, loving terms. Kids thrive when they know the rules of bedtime. And the more consistent you can be with following an evening's plan, the more they’ll get used to it.
Gentle Transitions: Start small, like spending a few minutes in their bed before gradually moving away, increasing their independence. If they’re used to snuggling, maybe you face away from them or put a pillow in between you two that they can snuggle with. Think in baby steps.
Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate your child’s wins, no matter how small. Even staying in their bed for half the night is progress! Or even just falling asleep with you sitting on the floor instead of laying in the bed.
These steps form the foundation for change—but remember, this is a process, not a race.
Three common co-sleeping transition mistakes
It’s easy to feel like you’re doing everything right but still not see progress. Here are three common mistakes I see parents make:
Moving Too Fast: Trying to transition without preparation can backfire. Small, steady changes are more effective. With older kids, it’s best to talk to them and explain any changes you’re going to make beforehand. Not to stress them out, just to be honest about what you’re doing and why.
Giving In to Tantrums: It’s tough, but staying consistent with boundaries teaches your child that you mean what you say. You explain it, and then you follow through. It’s important that you are rooted on your WHY and focused on the benefits to your child. Giving in to tantrums only makes the process harder on everyone.
Overcomplicating the Process: Stick to a clear, simple plan. Adding too many changes at once can overwhelm both you and your child. Again, think baby steps.
Avoiding these pitfalls as you transition out of co-sleeping sets you up for long-term success.
Start your journey back to peaceful nights
If you’re ready to make this transition with expert guidance, I’d love for you to check out my toddler sleep course, Sleep Tight Without a Fight. It’s designed to walk you step-by-step through this process so you can go from co-sleeping chaos to peaceful, independent nights in just a few weeks.
You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s reclaim your evenings, your bed, and your sleep. Trust me—it’s worth it.
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