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Sometimes kids need help winding down after a busy, exciting day. And saying “Take some deep breaths” may be met with a stern NO from your kid! Let’s walk through some simple and FUN exercises that you can teach your kids to do on their own (or that you can even do with them) that will help calm and regulate their nervous system for a night of good sleep.
>>Watch this blog on my Awesome Little Sleepers YouTube channel! In the video I will demonstrate all of the techniques described below. 👇
The science behind relaxation techniques for kids: what to know
When your child is having a meltdown or experiencing a big emotion, they’re being guided by their lower primitive brain. This part of the brain controls our fight or flight responses, and it’s where our anger and fear come from.
When kids are in this heightened state, blood flow is restricted from the upper, more evolved part of the brain. The upper brain is responsible for understanding, making decisions, and controlling one's body. That’s why kids can’t access any of these things when they’re mid-meltdown.
In fact, the upper part of the brain isn’t even fully developed until our mid-twenties, so what little executive functioning skills your 3-year-old may have in their upper brain are completely turned off in these high-emotion moments.
Meaning, they’re being 100% guided by raw, almost primitive emotion without the ability to reason or be talked out of their feelings.
Pretty obvious in the moment, right? You don’t need me to tell you this. But sometimes the lower primitive part of the brain just needs to calm down, and the tools I’ll teach you today will help.
How to use these relaxation techniques as tools
You’ve probably heard that taking deep breaths is grounding. But trying to tell your kid to calm down and take some deep breaths may not be well-received. Kids don’t like to slow down and do something boring like breathing.
However, there are some fun breathing techniques that you can use with your child. You can incorporate some of these into your bedtime routine for 1-2 minutes as a final relaxing step, or maybe you’d rather start them earlier in the evening. You can use them during the day, too, when helping to regulate your child after a tantrum or big emotion.
Breathing
Breathing is one the most powerful and easiest-to-access tools that we have for regulating our emotions. Directly linked to our nervous system, lungs, heart, and blood flow, breathing is free and overlooked as a tool!
I’ll describe several breathing techniques from easiest to more difficult so you can choose based on your child’s age and experience. Some are silly and some are more straightforward. Doing any of these with your eyes closed is even better.
Nose-Mouth Breathing
Intended to get your child to pay attention to their breathing, like a healthy distraction. Simply have them breathe in through their nose and exhale through their mouth. To help demonstrate, you can exaggerate the motion by opening your mouth so they can hear the exhale.
Lion’s Breath
Similar to nose-mouth breathing, but even more exaggerated and maybe a little sillier for kids depending on their mood. Have them breathe in through their nose and then exhale loudly with an open mouth while sticking their tongue out and shaking their head.
If this feels like it might get them excited instead of calm, you can start here and then calm it down over the course of a few breaths; stop the head shaking for a breath, stop sticking out the tongue for a breath, like the lion is getting sleepy.
Bumble Bee Breath
While we’re talking about animals, bumble bee breathing is fun for kids. Plug your ears, breathe in, and when you exhale make a humming noise. This is another way to help kids feel their breath - or in this case, hear it.
Full Body Breathing
Great for kids who are into counting - and for mom! Breath in through your nose for a count of 3 and imagine the air traveling all the way down your body to your toes. Then exhale for a count of 4 imagining the air traveling back up and out.
Great for parents and older kids. In this one, you will be inhaling and exhaling through your nose. Plug one nostril and inhale through the other, then plug the other nostril as you exhale. Keep switching on each inhale and exhale.
Let me know how it goes with your kiddo as you start making breathing fun!
For more info about creating the perfect bedtime routine, watch this: The BEST BEDTIME ROUTINE for 3 year old | Awesome Little Sleepers
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