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You may have been told that it’s ‘too late’ to sleep train your 3, 4, or even 5-year-old— that at this point you just have to wait for them to outgrow their sleep problems.
That’s simply not true.
Let’s start with a common myth: that sleep training only works for babies. Here’s the reality—older kids can absolutely learn to sleep independently. Yes, even the strong-willed ones! And yes, even if they've never been great sleepers or never slept by themselves! The key is understanding that their developmental stage requires a different approach.
In fact, sleep training older kids is often easier and more rewarding.
Older kids might have some well-ingrained habits—like having you lie beside them at bedtime or waking up to crawl into your bed at 2 a.m.—but those habits aren’t set in stone. With the right strategies, you can rewire these routines. And the best part? They’re old enough to participate in the process, which can actually make sleep training more effective. They can also understand rules and expectations at older ages, which sets them up to be very proud of themselves through this process.
>>Watch this blog on my Awesome Little Sleepers YouTube channel! 👇
Sleep training for a preschooler is different than for a toddler
There are a few reasons why the process for sleep training an older child isn’t the same as sleep training a baby. The same strategies that worked when they were immobile in a crib won’t work now.
Sleep Training Habits Are Harder to Break
By this age, kids have learned how to push boundaries to get what they want—it’s completely normal and just human nature. For example, you might say no snacks before dinner, but if they start whining loudly while you’re on the phone, you might toss them some goldfish to keep the peace. Or maybe you tell them you’re not lying down with them tonight because you need to fold laundry, but their cries escalate into a full-blown tantrum, so you give in and stay. Whether we realize it or not, we’re always teaching our kids how to respond to boundaries!
Older Kids Are Smart and Verbal
Older kids are great negotiators. They know how to test our patience in addition to our boundaries. Test ‘em… Push ‘em… And bulldoze right through ‘em. I don’t think you need me to give you an example of this. However, they also understand and respond to clear and consistent rules. If their whining NEVER gets your reaction - guess what. It’ll stop. Now, is that easier said than done, and might those first few times ignoring them be torture? Likely, yes. But it will work.
Emotional Factors of Sleep Training Older Kids
Fear of the dark or separation anxiety can be a factor when it comes to sleep training older kids. It’s important to approach their concerns with care. Older kids are beginning to grasp the concept of separation and understand that just because they’re going to bed doesn’t mean you are. In short - they can also have serious FOMO!
This is why you can’t use baby sleep training for your preschooler—it just won’t work. You need a tailored strategy that respects their growing independence while setting firm, loving boundaries.
So, what does work for sleep training older kids?
Trust and Communication
Older kids are more mature and have a clear sense of what to expect from you. That’s why it’s important to explain any changes you’re making. They need to understand what’s happening and why. When you approach it the right way—framing it as a step toward helping them feel proud and independent—the process becomes so much easier for both of you.
Setting New Routines
Create a new bedtime routine and sleep plan that aligns with your family’s goals. If your child needs to be asleep earlier and their behavior shows they’re overtired, try shortening the bedtime routine and getting them involved in the process. Want them to stop climbing into your bed at 2 a.m.? Set up a clear plan for how you’ll guide them back to their own bed—there are countless ways to approach this. Be sure to explain the plan to your child and stick to it. The more consistent you are, the easier the transition will be in the long run.
Positive Reinforcement
Celebrate their successes! Even baby steps deserve to be celebrated. A sticker chart, small rewards, or just your over-the-top praise can go a long way in motivating your child. And you need to build up some of their intrinsic motivation to keep things moving forward.
These strategies don’t just create better sleep—they build your child’s confidence and strengthen your bond.
Imagine this: Your child falls asleep by themselves, all alone in their room, stays in their own bed until the morning, and wakes up rested and happy. Your evenings are finally yours again—to fold that laundry, binge a show, read a book, say hi to your partner. Better sleep means a calmer household, a thriving child, and a more confident you.
If you want more tips on how to create a more peaceful bedtime, check out this video.
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