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If your child is an expert at bedtime stalling – meaning they wear you down nightly with a creative mixture of tantrums and sweetly begging for a hundred extra hugs – bedtime can get tense, fast. The time of day when you want to relax and wind down becomes a frustrating time-suck instead. Fortunately, there’s a simple tool you can use to break through the tension and move your toddler’s bedtime along quickly - laughter!
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How to avoid tears at bedtime
Oh boy, have I lived through some expert bedtime-stalling. I remember it like it was yesterday. For my daughter, stalling was centered around reading. She always wanted one more book or one more page. Just one more. And when I gave in to one more page, guess what - she still needed yet one more! It was never ending!
Reading books became a frustrating part of our routine. I would start by sternly reminding her of the rule we had about 2 books, so she started asking me to re-read pages within the 2 books. Crafty! Every night, reading became a tense time. My anxiety was high and she could feel that.
This scenario can easily happen with routine parts of our day. We get caught in the cycle and keep repeating the same patterns. Every night, I would try to set bedtime reading rules, she would try to push me, I would get frustrated, and she would get sad. That became our bedtime routine.
I wish I had known there was an easy way to break this cycle!
It’s as simple as bringing some laughter and silliness to the bedtime routine. The goal is to do something silly to break the tension, as well as break that habit cycle you’ve gotten stuck in. Then you can form some new, fun memories around bedtime.
How to avoid tears at bedtime tactic 1: Race
This is a great tactic for kids who are slow movers. You know, the kiddo who takes forever to put on PJS or brush their teeth, or even make a move towards their bedroom. Imagine your slow-moving kid taking forever to go down the hall to his room, but instead of getting frustrated and saying “Come on, get down here, you’re taking forever!”, you say, “I bet I can beat you to your room. 1, 2, 3, GO!” Then you start moving, but you trip, fall down, run into a wall, run to the wrong room. Committing to pure silly so your kid is laughing at you is so much better than the same old routine of yelling at your kid to get them moving.
Tactic 2: Use a Silly Voice
If your kid is into Peppa Pig, try doing everything with a British accent - your child can do it, too. This will keep them focused on their accent instead of coming up with crafty new stall tactics. Or, you could let your child tell you what silly voice to use and you have to use that for the rest of the bedtime routine. If reading books is a struggle, maybe you offer to read an extra book but only as a speed reader, racing through each page so your child is laughing along.
Tactic 3: Put a Favorite Doll or Toy to Bed
Having your child play the role of parent to a doll is a great way to get them engaged in the bedtime routine. They can bring a favorite toy or lovey through the routine with them and then tuck them into bed beside them or in a makeshift bed on the floor. Kids love to feel responsible and this gives them a good outlet. Then they get to be a role model to their “baby”.
Tactic 4: Have Fun with Clothes
Got a kid who struggles to get into PJs? Sometimes they resist this part of the routine because it’s the first step and they know the day is over soon. So, make it fun! Ask if they want to sleep in a favorite costume or dress-up outfit. Maybe they want to sleep in one of Mom’s t-shirts like a nightgown. Or maybe they want to sleep in their own PJs – but put them on backwards!
Tactic 5: Lights Off
Changing up the lighting can totally change the mood. This is a great idea if your struggle is with bath time or reading. If your child resists taking a bath, ask if they want to try it with the lights off and only have a nightlight or some candles. And if reading books brings out tensions, try reading in the dark with a flashlight - maybe even under the covers.
I hope these five examples will spark many more ideas for you to make bedtime easier and more fun! Keep in mind you’re not meant to be racing down the hall and doing candlelight baths forever. The point is just to break the cycle, bring some levity to the moment, and create new memories.
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